anglista.edu.pl :: :: CATEGORY: Loonatics

marcin · Wysłany: Czw 14 Sie, 2003 7:33 pm **:: CATEGORY: Loonatics**

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

A man took a bag of light bulbs back to the shop and asked for his money back, the manager asked, why do you want your money back? The man replied, I planted every one of those light bulbs and not one of them flowered!

Susan and John were patients at the insane asylum. One day Susan got tired of waiting patiently outside the bathroom door for John to emerge and kicked it in. Inside, she found John trying to drown himself in the bathtub. She saved him from sure death by pulling him from the tub. A few days later, the director of the asylum reviewed her file and called her into his office.
"Ms. Smith, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."
"Oh, he didn't kill himself," Susan replied. "I hung him up to dry."

A doctor on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely. The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud noises not unlike a Kenworth ...VRROOOM, VRROOOM, SCREEEECH...
"What are you doing?", inquires the doctor.
"I'm taking this road train down to Barcelona", replies the ex-truckier.
Somewhat taken aback but not to be put off, the doctor moves on to the next bed where he can see some very energetic activity going on underneath the covers. On pulling them back he finds a man totally naked face down into the mattress.
"And what are you doing?", asks the doctor, a little perplexed.
"Well", says the man, "While he's in Barcelona I'm fucking his wife."