anglista.edu.pl :: :: CATEGORY: School

marcin · Wysłany: Pią 29 Sie, 2003 8:43 pm **:: CATEGORY: School**

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like
many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk
in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam,
a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed
the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student.
He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams,
and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"Are You sure that you don't know WHO I am?!"
the student asked again.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the
student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

Mariusz K. · Wysłany: Wto 02 Wrz, 2003 12:54 pm **School? Oh no!!**

MOTHER-Hurry up John! You'll be late for school.
SON-I don't want to go to school.
MOTHER-But you have to.
SON-But the teachers don't like me and the boys call me names.
MOTHER-I'll give you two good reasons why you should go.
SON-What are they?
MOTHER-You are sixty years old and you're the headmaster there. :lol:

In the course of the lecture the professor ironically to his students:
-If your friends in the back rows of the room were quiet and stop talking
as those in the middle who are solving their crosswords,the ones sitting
in the first rows could easily continue their nap.

A husband of an English teacher is taking his wife to hospital.
Her waters broke and she started to give birth.
Next day she phones her husband and says:"Darling I'm so happy.Can you imagine?
It's masculine and plural.!!!

ps.1."her waters broke"/or "her waters have flown away"-odeszły jej wody
(wersja asystencko-akuszerska)

ally · Gość

The medical student was shocked when he failed the radiology exam so he approached his professor and demended to know what he had done wrong.
The don told him he had been impressed with an X-ray that the student had taken of himself. " It was a fine picture of your lungs, liver and stomach," he said.
"If it was so good, why did you fail me?" asked the bewildered student.
"I had no choice," answered the professor. "You didn't put your heart into it."

kafelnikov · Wysłany: Pon 21 Cze, 2004 12:59 am **hehhehe**

Jestem na etapie rozumienia angielskiego bardziej niz mówienia, ale jak widze po tym joke'u brakuje mi jeszcze full słownictwa

Jednak jestem optymistą!

ilonas · Wysłany: Pią 15 Paź, 2004 7:31 pm

http://granda.room-303.com/
to taki maly zarcik znaleziony w necie dla nauczycieli zeby spojrzeli na siebie z dystansem

Ken Kaniff · Wysłany: Pią 15 Paź, 2004 7:48 pm **Re: hehhehe**

ilonas · Wysłany: Pią 15 Paź, 2004 7:55 pm

First Day of School

It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she'd take no nonsense from the kiddies this year. While taking the roll, she was told by one boy "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer".

So she said "There'll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny; tell me your REAL name!". The kid said "No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask my brother if you don't believe me!"

Not wanting to be subjected to that kind of thing, the teacher went across the hall and knocked on the fourth grade classroom door. The fourth grade teacher had stepped down the hall to the front office for a moment, so she entered the room and directly asked the class "Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?"

"Hell no!" replied a little kid from the front row, "We don't even get a cookie break!"

I browsed the net

Ken Kaniff · Wysłany: Pią 15 Paź, 2004 8:16 pm

It's too funny!!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Agnes1313 · Wysłany: Wto 06 Cze, 2006 5:20 pm

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."

:szok:

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Patty: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Patty: I've already got one rabbit at home now!